The story of a day in the life of an unsuccessful office worker

7:20am Waking up to a sixty second stone cold shower

I jump straight into a stone cold sixty second shower.  

I’d prefer to wake up to a fifteen minute warm shower, but as usual, I’m running late. Now I need a quick fix, a quick wake up call. 

I’m a tough guy – except for when it comes to cold showers, where the cowardice in me takes over. I turn the shower on and stand to the side as I put shampoo on my head and attempt to gain the courage to actually get under the water.  

A voice inside me screams “You whimp! You absolute pansy. Just get under the bloody water – it won’t hurt you.” 

I dip my head under – and immediately jerk it back to safety as I feel the immense pain of that freezing cold water making contact with my body. 

“What the “bloody hell was that!” my inner voice continues. “Just get under and stay under!” 

This time, I put my whole body under. I spend all of five seconds washing my hair, two seconds on my face and two seconds each of my arms, chest and well, other vital body parts which must be clean and fresh to start the day. 

Some say a quick warm shower beats a quick cold shower. I disagree. It’s easy to have a cold shower lasting only sixty seconds. But having to get out of a nice warm shower after just sixty seconds – that’s torture! 

Nevertheless, a cold shower is still less enjoyable than a tetanus injection.

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