The story of a day in the life of an unsuccessful office worker

7:17am Do I really have to get up now?

Do I really have to get up and go to work now?  

I’m so warm and cozy. The thought of getting up and facing a new week seems too unbearable to contemplate. Surely I can just keep lying here for another five minutes, can’t I? (and then another five minutes, and then five more minutes after that, and so on) 

No… I am running late for work … I am running out of excuses for being late for work …. I will probably lose my job (again) if I don’t get up now…. And I have to get up at some time anyway. So bugger, yeah.  I do have to get up now.   

With a great deal of reluctance, my right arm crosses over my body and grabs hold of my blanket from underneath on the left side of the bed. I then swing my arm back across my body in a short, sharp motion, casting aside my cozy, warm, snuggly blanket and exposing my body to the reality of the day.  

I roll over slightly and transfer my weight to the right side of my body. Pressing the upper part of my right arm against the right side of the bed, I use all of physical mental and emotional strength I can muster to roll swiftly back over to my other side. In the same action, I swivel my body so that my legs swing around sharply off the lower part of the bed and in the direction of the floor. My left arm gently braces against the mattress in order to support my upper body and prevent my entire body from simply rolling out onto the floor in one messy heap.  

I gently lower my legs on to the floor. Then, in a single slow, gradual motion, I pull myself up to the point where I am standing up straight.  

I have just overcome life’s most difficult challenge.

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