The story of a day in the life of an unsuccessful office worker

7:30am Come on baby, don’t let me down now!

The engine turns for three seconds and then stops dead. OK, let’s give her a little power and try again. I put my foot down lightly on the accelerator. 

The engine turns over and then “Broom broom, broom .. sputter sputter sputter” .. dead. Oh dear. Try again. More power this time. 

The engine turns over. “Broom, broom broom broom brooooooom broooooooooom” “Yes!” I pound the steering wheel. “Come on, come on, come on come on!” “..sputter sputter sputter ..” “Come on baby, don’t let me down now!” “.. sputter, sputter .. dead.”  One more try. 

The engine turns over “Broom, broom, broom, brooooooom ,brom, broom brooooooom,” Yes, finally. I put her in reverse and start back out of the driveway, knocking over the letterbox yet again.   

I back out into the street, attempt to change out of reverse and into first gear, and then ‘sputter, sputter … dead.’ She stalls on me in the middle of the street. 

The engine turns over and this time, THIS TIME, she finally gets going for good. Naturally, the heater doesn’t work and it’s freezing cold. 

My day can only get better from here. Things are looking up.

 

C’mon baby

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