The story of a day in the life of an unsuccessful office worker

2:40pm Ten Copies Now!


Bill’s deep, commanding voice bellows in my direction. He marches toward me and slaps a file down on my desk.  

“Give me ten copies of this report before the meeting. Copy each page and staple them together, one for each person.”   

“No problem,” I turn around and say to Bill’s backside, which is already half way back to his desk.  

No problem at all.  This is why I put in three years at university - this is why I strove to achieve the status of Certified Practicing Accountant - so that I could make photocopies for Bill Mathers.  

The report contains a preliminary version of the financial statements for our company. The auditors want to use it to identify the key areas which they will focus on during the audit process.  

It’s twelve pages long, so to make ten copies, I must copy one hundred and twenty sheets of paper. 

Don’t you just love the degree of forward notice I am given for these things? They were in his ‘out’ tray only yesterday morning and he has kindly given them to me a full twenty minutes before the start of the meeting.  

No problem. As Bill’s humble servant, I will gladly drop everything, sweep aside all other priorities and copy one hundred and twenty sheets of paper in twenty minutes.  

No problem at all.


  1. January 22nd, 2008 | 7:30 am

    What a prick. Do you make his coffee? That would be cool. so you can pee in it.

  2. January 22nd, 2008 | 3:44 pm

    Yeah, he is a bit of a prick, IP.

    But he is also my boss, so what can I do?

    Come to think of it, yes I have made his coffee a couple of times. Every now and then, I’ll be working away at my desk. He will approach me in a deliberate, disrespectful manner and simply say “Robertson, white with one.”

    Understanding my place, I respond by in an affirmative manner and enquire as to whether their is anything else I can get for him.

    Immediately, I put down what I am working on, proceed to the staff kitchen, diligently make the coffee - being certain to include the optimum concentration of milk, coffee and sugar, and deliver promptly the coffee to his office. During the entire process, I must be careful to ensure that no coffee spills over the cup into the saucer, lest my king have to deal with a slightly sticky cup.

    I think peeing in his coffee would be a bit extreme, but I’m sure I could think of some other ways to extract my revenge.

  3. January 22nd, 2008 | 9:37 pm

    You gonna catch him having sex with an employee too?

  4. January 23rd, 2008 | 4:52 pm

    I haven’t yet. I would feel sorry anyone who was that desperate.

    Then again, anything’s possible.



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