The story of a day in the life of an unsuccessful office worker

11:10am I’m so happy for you

Jane is just copying the cheque for me and the conversation is going well. But then the bombshell is dropped. 

“Yeah,” continues Jane (refer previous post). My new boyfriend is really into arts and culture.” 

New Boyfriend. What? Did she say new boyfriend?  

I am instantaneously shattered. But my disappointment must be concealed at all costs.   

“Oh, did I tell you?” she whispers, her tone indicating bubbling excitement. “I’ve got a new boyfriend.” 

“Really? No you didn’t. Wow! That’s exciting.” I attempt to fake matching excitement.  

“Please tell me more. (rub it in) Who’s the lucky guy?” (Who’s the prick who I want to punch out?) 

“Ok. His name’s Rick. He’s in his thirties. He’s just become a partner at the top law firm in the state. He drives a BMW convertible and he’s just bought a lovely new house on one acre with a swimming pool.” 

“Really? Sound’s like a good catch.” I knew it – a rich bastard. Bet he’s not even good looking. 

“Oh, and he’s gorgeous too! He looks so handsome in a tuxedo. He gave me this lovely ring last week.” 

“Can I see? … Wow, that’s so nice!” I want to puke on it. 

“Oh Stewie, I just can’t tell you how happy I am.”  

Please don’t. 

“That’s great. I’m really happy for you. (yeah, right!) I really hope it works out for you.” 

“Oh, thanks Stewie. You know, you’re such a good friend.” 

A good friend. Great! Some lucky rich guy snatches her up and I get to be the good friend. Wonderful, I’m so happy for them. 

Think positive – it could all end in two weeks.


  1. December 22nd, 2007 | 7:52 pm

    Dude, are you sure you would even want this girl, knowing how shallow she is? She introduces the boy in the discussion as artsy-fartsy and then highlights his riches?

  2. December 25th, 2007 | 5:00 pm

    Iron Pugilist.

    Fair point. I have learned that she does value riches and looks over tenderness, kindness and sensitivity.

    But she is still kind of attractive, so it’s difficult not to fantasize about romance.

    Nethertheless, whether I want her or not, I can’t have her. I guess I’ll have to move on. I’ll have to find another colleague who is willing to look past my lack of riches and apparent lack of physical attractiveness.



Leave a reply